Lowering the Voltage: What Dogs, Vets, and Leaders Know About Anxiety
One of the most memorable concepts in Resilient Leadership is that of being a step-down transformer: cultivating the capacity to remain less anxious than those around you so that emotional intensity can diminish rather than escalate.
Clients often tell me this is the idea they reach for first in moments of strain – at work, at home, and everywhere in between.
My introduction to this concept didn’t come from Resilient Leadership, however. I first learned about it many years ago … from my veterinarian.
Anxiety is Contagious for Humans and Non-Humans
Our household was already home to three lively terrier mixes when a friend sent us a photo of a small dog found wandering the streets of Baltimore with a broken leg. It only took one look and we knew our pack was expanding. Within days, we welcomed Rudy to his new home with us.
We were prepared for the usual disruption that comes with adding a new dog. What we weren’t prepared for was the extent of Rudy’s anxiety. We didn’t know how long he’d been on the streets, what he’d endured, or even how his leg had been injured. What was clear was that his nervous system was perpetually on high alert.
Rudy whined. He paced. He startled easily.
And over time, I did too.
I threw myself into problem-solving mode. I researched. I worried. I monitored every sound and movement. My own frustration and concern intensified, and something else became clear: the other three dogs were growing more anxious as well. Tension, it turns out, is remarkably contagious.
Our longtime veterinarian offered thoughtful recommendations and although each helped a little, none solved the problem.
Identifying My Role in the Problem
On a phone call with the vet, I said in exasperation, “I’m at the end of my rope. What else can we do?”
There was a pause on the other end of the line.
Then he said, “You need to have a glass of wine.”
I laughed, assuming he had to be joking.
He wasn’t.
He explained that my anxiety about Rudy was amplifying his anxiety, which in turn was rippling through the rest of the pack. Dogs, like people, are exquisitely attuned to the emotional field around them. Until I could find a way to lower my own level of agitation, the system would remain unsettled.
In other words: I wasn’t just in the system.
I was setting the tone for it.
This is the essence of being a step-down transformer. It’s not about suppressing emotion, or fixing others, or pretending everything is fine. It’s about regulating yourself well enough that you don’t unknowingly escalate the stress that is already present. When one person can hold steadiness, especially when that is someone with relational or positional influence, it creates space for others to find a calmer space too.
Cultivating Step-Down Transformer Presence
Cultivating a step-down transformer presence is deceptively simple, but quietly powerful:
- The first step is to really tune into the dynamics and energy around you – whether in the office, at home, or elsewhere. Notice also the body language, tone of voice, and other indicators that might signal stress and anxiety are heightened.
- Next, pay close attention to where you might be matching (or exceeding) the anxiety of the people around you.
- Finally, experiment with practices to find what helps you to become just a little calmer than the current level. It might be taking a moment to pause and just breathe. Or, when feasible, perhaps it’s taking a walk. It could be something as simple as taking a moment to savor the fragrance of a cup of tea or enjoying the view of blue sky through a window. And as you’re experimenting, become aware of which tactics are most helpful in downshifting your own feelings of stress.
You may discover, as I did, that your calmness does far more work than your cleverness ever could. And if that calm happens to begin with a metaphorical (or literal) glass of wine… well, leadership shows up in many forms.
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EileenWiediger, Certified Resilient Leadership Coach
Eileen is an ICF-certified coach who empowers individuals at all levels to navigate the dynamic journey from self-awareness to self-transcendence. She has worked as a strategist, instructional designer, and facilitator solving complex problems and creating systems for learning and growth. You can reach her at: https://www.linkedin.com/in/a-eileen-wiediger/ or through her website: https://www.steeproad.com.